My grandparents knew how to party.
I'm not talking jello shots and a bag of chips on the makeshift coffee table kind of partying, I'm talking about place cards, sit down meals, charades, costumes, party favors - the real deal. My grandparents had at least 4 or 5 handwritten party invitations sitting on their kitchen counter at any given time. I was in awe of how popular they were and how many friends they had. They enjoyed a seemingly endless cavalcade of parties, club events and bridge nights that kept them busy most days. They were ENGAGED with their friends and people in general. My husband's parents are very much like that too - attending parties, book clubs, lectures, doing charity work and actively embracing not only their friends, but people they don't even know. Shocking isn't it?!
I mention this because I've noticed in recent years, people by and large, have all but stopped having parties and consciously interacting with others. Obviously, there are still parties for birthdays and occasionally, the housewarming, but the dinner, cocktail and the "just because" parties have seem to have fallen by the wayside. I noticed it started just after 9/11 - because before that I was constantly going to parties and events and had a VERY good time, as I recall.
It's a shame so many social engagements have been suspended, because in some small way, it signals a time in our history where people have become more withdrawn, anti-social and isolated from each other. I think we may still be feeling the effects of 9/11 and all of the negativity that came after it.
Are we Facebooking, Twittering, XBoxing and TV watching our way into social oblivion? Do we feel safer just observing or interacting behind an avatar in cyberspace or is it just easier & lower maintenance to make invisible friends online?
How many kids/people do you know that are so focused on their Gameboy, the Internet or watching their favorite movie for the 10th time, that they don't even notice other humans in the room?
Have you observed the slow down of interesting, thought provoking conversations or the inability of people to make casual conversation? When was the last time someone looked you in the eye and asked you thoughtful questions backed up by genuine interest? How about politeness and paying attention - what happened to those little gems?
Riddle me this: Is there a restaurant or bar in this country where the sound system is NOT turned up to "11" and where multiple sporting events are NOT being televised at the same time, rendering speech useless? I don't think so, Batman.
In my humble opinion, we are experiencing a social & cultural sea change brought on by a perfect storm of technology, the economic tsunami, burn out and a vast, national malaise.
We are making it more and more difficult to interact with others face to face - even if we actually are face to face. A conscious effort to re-engineer how we deal with people may be required.
It might mean inviting friends over for dinner or a potluck and a game of Pictionary regularly, choosing a walk at the beach over an evening of online gaming, starting a book club or discussion group with people you may not know well. There are a lot of ways to enjoy people's company and it doesn't require loads of money or major planning.
Admittedly, times are tough right now, but I think that is all the more reason for people to band together and shore up what's left of our waning happiness, social interaction and civility. In spite of everything, we still depend on friendship and personal relationships, even if we occasionally succumb to the siren call of the Tivo.
I look forward to the day when I am regularly booked for parties and functions - garden parties, pinochle & canasta games (I've never played), formal cocktail soirees, I don't really care what, I just want to be on the guest list.
My husband and I throw quite a few parties and we enjoy doing it - I think we had around 8 different parties this summer. That said, as much as I love the "usual suspects," I would like to meet new people and schmooze at someone else's wonderful party. Most importantly, I want to concentrate on the lost art of connecting with people, making new friends and maybe for a fleeting moment, ponder my burgeoning popularity ;)
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5 comments:
Love this post. I agree with you completely. The art of letter-writing and old-fashioned conversation is being supplanted by 140-characters-or-less sound-bite exchanges. I love getting letters in the post. In fact one of my new year's goals was to buy stamps and write more letters. :-)
First of all, lay off the TiVo, as I happen to KNOW you don't own one! So you have not had the sweet, sweet nectar of the "Now Playing" list. Wash your mouth (inner monologue?) out with soap. I say praise the TiVo for allowing me to duck all of Madison Avenue's banal ads and just enjoy the quality programming I put on my recording list every week...
Secondly, I do have an idea for one of your parties/hang outs: have everyone bring at least ONE person that you and/or Ross have never met! That way everyone has the opportunity to meet someone new. Now, I realize the odds of you getting everyone to bring someone will be slim, but if you get at least half to bring someone, you have increased your circle for the night significantly! (btw, don't plan on me bringing anyone as I still don't know anyone new after being back in LA for two years...HAHA!)
And, if I may add a digital malady to the list you built: no more damn texting whilst you are among REAL people for the purpose of socializing! If you really need to bring your phone/PDA into the party with you, you had better be a doctor on call! So there.
Plus, from now on, I will endeavor to be one of the most UNusual Suspects at the party!!
Trust me...you are an unusual suspect.
So, you Tivo MadMen, a show about a Madison Avenue advertising company, so that you can avoid Madison Avenue advertising? What's wrong with you???
I will take you up on your suggestion and have some sort of "Strangers in the Night" party where everyone brings someone I don't know. That said, they can't have a rap sheet or text during the party - my only guidelines.
Hmm..well, I think your Mad Men 'shot' would make sense IF the show was actually showing ads continually as its subject. Sounds like someone needs to work on her 'slams' a bit harder.
Also, you have no leg to stand on if you still watch 'Dancing with the Stars' (a misnomer if ever there was one) after they hired that putrid rat trap of a human being Tom Delay. Amazing how this country allows criminals the luxury of going on a low level 'entertainment' to repair their scumbag images.
Not only are you bitter about TV ads, apparently you don't like people dancing either. You twisted, angry, fascist, communist!
I think it's much better to have Tom DeLay dancing vs. making laws, don't you??? Take back what you said about Dancing with the Stars! Take it back, I tell ya!!!
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