Got Hate?

OK, I'm sure everyone is well aware of the nasty back and forth in the House, brick throwing & bullets through windows, Hitler picture modifications, threats, prejudicial slurs and name calling and the general lack of decorum taking place across the country and in the Capitol right now.  We have apparently devolved as a nation, into the worst possible 'Jersey Shore' episode.  Frankly, C-Span and MTV could save a lot on production costs if they just share their content.

I don't know about you, but I find it a bit scary when drunken, half-naked Spring breakers have better behavior and general decency than a middle aged parent of two. Does anyone feel like they've woken up in Bizarro world?

It's a tragedy that most of the "Greatest Generation" is dead. I imagine many of them could tell us a thing or two about conducting ourselves like rational adults, persevering through major economic downturns, sharing responsibility as citizens, and facing down true fascism that killed millions.

Frankly, they would have every right to be shocked and dismayed at how dramatically we rant about stuff that would have been a blip on their radar back in the day.  I am starting to believe that they may have been the last group in our country, that actually made it to adulthood.

I'm considering re-reading, "Lord of the Flies" for cultural survival tips.

Our current generation, Baby Boomers & Busters included, has been coddled, protected and infused with the idea that everything should be done our way, all the time.  Over the past decade or so, it seems that if  we don't win or someone disagrees with us, we get angry, indignant, rude and whine.  We don't just disagree, we HATE and RAGE.

What a wonderful legacy we are leaving to our kids.  I imagine great books, mini-series and sonnets will be written about this period of time, honoring "The Pissed-off, Whiny Generation."

Can you feel the pride?

This goes way beyond politics, so don't think for a second that this is about one political group or another, I'm condemning the ENTIRE, ill-behaved population.  So let's get that straight.

I imagine that as I write this, Canada is considering legislation to put a huge fence up on their southern border.  And frankly,  if they aren't, they should be - if only to protect the niceness of their population.  I doubt they want Americans busting in and wrecking the place...

Are you offended yet?  I bloody well hope so.

I hope you are so offended that you go out of your way to prove me wrong.

I hope you defiantly have rational, fact-based debates and are respectful of others, even if they are acting like jack asses.  I hope you funnel your anger into something positive and take to behaving as though the person you respect most in life was watching you on a 24 hour web cam.  I hope you are so willing to prove me wrong, that you share your intent to be respectful and decent with other people too, so they start thinking about it.

That'll show me!!!

I dare you to not pick a fight,  to be respectful of opposing views, avoid accusatory statements, including anything that remotely sounds like taunting and oh yea...no shitty comments said quietly under your breath. 

I DARE YOU!

You can be miffed, you can be angry, you can be outraged, you can be up in arms, you can even feel like you want to kill someone, but just ACT and BEHAVE like a rational human being on the outside. That's all.

I know I'm preaching to the choir, because most of you are conscientious people, but I urge you to start going out of your way to change this culture of hate and nastiness.  If you see a friend or relative behaving badly, help them out by telling them how they are being perceived.  Write your government officials telling them what kind of behavior you expect of them as well.  If you have kids, raise them to have and show respect and to be humane and polite, by setting a good example and apologizing to them if you screw up.

If we are to change our legacy and our reputation as a country and as a generation, we need to start right now.

Unfortunately, The Crown Jewel Club doesn't exist for adults, so were going to have to take a good hard look at ourselves and snap out of this terrible national attitude of hate and pettiness.  It would be great if we could all make the effort to grow up into a generation that we can be proud of and that future generations can respect.

End of lecture.
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I don't like to move it, move it !!!

Moving day has come and gone and we are now in our beautiful, circa 1922 duplex rental, a block from the beach.  It has all the 1920's charm that you would expect; sunny rooms, crown molding, hardwood floors and lovely Mexican tiles in the kitchen & bathrooms.

That said, 8 (scratch that )10 days later, I am still surrounded by towers of boxes, piles of cords, stacks of electronic equipment, books, vases, bags of stuff and a potpourri of various & sundry items, housed in plastic containers.  Most of these things are wedged into "free" spaces in any available room or hallway.  My dining room set, wine bar, buffet and over-sized chest of drawers now reside in our single car garage.  The car resides on the street.

You may be thinking, "Kris, why the hell don't you just unpack your crap and stop your stupid whining?!"  But before you start to speculate on my inability to put things away,  it is not because of pure laziness that I find myself navigating a maze of banker boxes on the way to the bathroom every morning...

As it turns out, our "new" place has major rain damage, characterized by water filling up the lighting fixture on the dining room ceiling and gray, fuzzy mold sprouting, unimpeded from various layers of drywall & plaster.  Consequently, our dining room has been rendered useless - mainly due to lack of a ceiling, but let's face it, who wants to pick out pieces of moldy drywall from their food?

I am assured by very capable people that things will be back to "normal" by Monday (scratch that) Tuesday.  Which should be just in time to start digging up and replacing the mainline pipe on the side of the house.

If you've never had the pleasure of doing a mainline pipe replacement, you are missing out!. We did one on our last rental house (circa 1950) during the first week of move-in and were able to skip a couple days of pesky showers while the water was shut off.  BTW,  Trader Joe's has wonderful bathroom facilities if you have to "go" between 8am to 9pm - anytime after that - it's a 24 hour grocery store.

Good times.


The upside is: we like our place a lot, we're saving several hundred dollars a month and we will probably only be living like this for a few more days.  The cherry on top is that we don't OWN this place, so repair bills for the roof, the ceiling and the mainline are not coming out of our pocket - so we get all the benefits of living in a charming older home and someone else gets the bills.  Yes, we are inconvenienced for a couple of weeks, but since we plan on staying here a long time, we're willing to deal with it.

I have a friend that is purchasing a CHARMING house built in 1928.  You know that Chinese curse?      'May you live in interesting times' - I think the same curse is implied for 'May you live in a charming house.'

They have chosen not to do a camera inspection of their 1928 mainline pipe or a further roof inspection, even though the inspector suggested it might need to be replaced soon.  They are also flying solo - without a real estate agent.  I'm guessing they will be in our situation about 6 months from now, but with a huge difference - THEY will be paying the bills.

Yes, I've warned them.

Frankly,  I love places with character and I'm always drawn to homes or apartments that are unique and not just a cookie cutter, clone of every place on the block.  I'm a sucker for built-in shelves and coves, glass door knobs, original tile and wood work, etc.  I know why my friend fell in love with the house they are buying -  but you have to understand what you are getting yourself into.

A "slush fund" of about $20k is mandatory if you are buying any older property and that will probably only cover the first incident or two.  But hey, that's the price of falling in love.

That said, when I start buying property, I have a list of must haves: Must be built after 1990, Must have a new mainline pipe, Must have copper plumbing, Must have insulated windows and Must have a leak-proof ceiling over the dining room.

Screw charm.
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Calling on your humanity

As most of you know, I'm a huge news hound and I have been glued to CNN and checking news reports about Haiti online after the tragic earthquake there.  Clearly, the impact from this devastating earthquake is going to be playing out for years to come, that said, we need to get monetary donations to Haiti ASAP.

After watching three days of children with head wounds and compound fractures, images of dead bodies piled up in the streets and  numerous interviews of hopeless people having lost loved ones...I can't help but think, could this be California at some point in the future?  Sadly, it was New Orleans not so long ago.

Keeping that in mind, I hope everyone takes this situation to heart and donates $5 or $10 to a relief fund of your choice, that will get doctors, supplies, water and food to the people there.  I'll put a link to a list of various vetted charities at the bottom to make it easy. 

Three of my favorite charities are Doctors without Borders, Red Cross and The Clinton Foundation.  I hope you find a favorite and donate as generously as you can.  The smallest donation of $5 can help tremendously, so don't let the amount stop you.

A quote about the survivors struck me earlier today on CNN, 'It's like asking 911 victims to do search and rescue for three days straight without food or water.'  Imagine that.

I have to say, that no matter what our economic woes are right now, I would not trade them to be starving, injured on the street or trapped alive under rubble in Port au Prince at this moment.  Would you?

Check out this video that my friend, Pam Robinson, sent to me. It was put together by recording artist Glen Scott and friends from Hidden Beach, that wanted to do something to help raise money for Haiti - great music and images:

The Impossible Cut

For you cynics out there:  Knock it off.

There is no reason to doubt where your donation goes if you actually do a little research of vetted charities to give to.  If you aren't giving because you're afraid your money is going to be taken by some dark entity disguised as a charity, then get off your butt and find a charity that you can trust - that is no excuse not to help people.  I am probably one of the most cynical people on the planet, however, that doesn't keep me from giving to responsible charities. If you are one of these people, don't think you look "savvy" or "smart" because you are withholding a donation to save lives.

A good friend of mine pointed out today, that there are so many people on Facebook posting results from silly games and their latest animal acquisitions on Farmville, that it seems they are out of touch and their time could go to much better use.  That said, a little fun is never a bad thing, as long as it is balanced out with an appropriate amount of concern about the real world.  I hope that "virtual engagement" never overshadows the needs of people.

So, I'm asking everyone to think about your humanity today - what can you do to help if you haven't already?

I challenge you to be a citizen of the world and reach out to the people of Haiti now.

Please go to this link below to see a variety of vetted charities:

List of Charities that help Haiti

It's 2010: Where's my futuristic stuff?

We finally made it! 2010! We are officially living in the future!

How does it feel to be driving around in your new hovercraft? Don't you adore your shiny, silver, hi-tech jumpsuit? And tell me you can't get enough of that button in the kitchen that shoots out perfectly prepared roast beef from a little door in the wall!!! How's your robot dog doing????

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm still waiting for my damned jet pack...

So, if the future is now, where's my stuff???!!! I hate to say it, but I have the distinct feeling I've been rooked. It doesn't feel very futuristic here in 2010.

I used to regularly watch TV shows like Space 1999, Ark II, Twilight Zone and The Jetsons, dreaming of the amazing technology of the future. How about that cool Ark II Winnebago trolling a post-apocalyptic world with Adam the talking monkey at the helm? Or what about that robot maid, Rosie, the Jetsons had?  I sure could use her! Sign me up for that condo on the moon!

I loved movies like Logan's Run, Star Trek, 2001: A Space Odyssey and anything about the future just beyond my grasp. I wondered what futuristic new gadgets & technological wizardry awaited me in 2010 - perhaps a non-homicidal version of the Hal 9000?!

I long to say to Scotty, "Beam me up to the hologram deck, I'm ready to bask under the four suns of Gandar with my 3 headed space cat."

That would be so awesome...

Apparently, the tech downturn in 2001 was worse than I thought. It's 2010 and I don't even have a phaser I can set to stun...

That said, it hasn't been a total loss, we do have the Internet, iPhones, The Prius, the super collider at CERN, the "Roomba", DVRs, the Hubble Telescope and the Segway! That's not bad, but it's definitely not a personal mini-spaceship that can jump to hyper-drive in 3.2 seconds - now that's something to get excited about!

I'm sure we'll eventually get there, but I can't help but think that science and technology has a long way to go before I can get my anti-gravity basketball shoes or eat at that restaurant at the end of the universe.

We'll, until I can shake my disappointment, I guess I'll just put on my spandex jacket and listen to Donald Fagan's I.G.Y. song, daring to dream that 2020 will bring me the three headed space cat I've coveted for so long...

Lyrics to I.G.Y. by a fella with compassion and vision...

The New Face of Technology

For as long as I can remember, my friend, I'll call him.... "Brian", has been telling me that I need to be dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming.

He thinks I'm a Luddite*, that I'm confused when it comes to the ways of the new world of technology, he thinks it is strangely ironic that I successfully sell high tech software to people that actually have functioning left brains.

Interestingly enough, a few years back, while working at a 3D sound technology company, the Orange County register wrote an article called, "The new face of technology," that featured a section about me.

Ironically, another good friend, I'll call him..."David," also thought this was quite amusing since he believes I can barely reset my cable box. For several months after, every time he would call me, he would greet me with, "Hey! How's the new face of technology?" And then he would laugh for a very long time.

That said, the article was not focused on my technical abilities (believe it or not) it was basically saying that there is room in the technology industry for people with other business qualifications - and they can actually make a pretty good go of it. Over the years, I've found this to be very true, lucky for me and many others that aren't techy, dweeby, geeky or nerdy. Don't get me wrong, I have a great respect for people that understand the ins and outs of a video compression codec, but in this brave new world, not everyone gets it. As a matter of fact, most people don't - just ask your Dad.

I've been in Sales and Marketing for many cutting edge tech companies over the years and I've found that my primary role is best summed up as, "interpreter." I get technical information from engineers, I transmorgify it in my brain, and then I spit out intelligible sales pitches, marketing messages and lay peoples' terms to everyone else. And by "everyone else," I mean the people with money to purchase, license or see the value in whatever technology I'm selling. I'm the person that makes people "get it and pay money for it," so to speak.

I love technology, but he is a cruel master.

What can I say? I have the soul of an early adopter, but the technical ability of a pencil.

But that's OK, you can still appreciate something you don't completely understand...sort of like how my Dad appreciates his iPhone.

Dad, I'll call him...Dad, has had his new iPhone for about a month now and once we got him over the hurdle of how to answer voicemail, it's been downhill ever since. He has adopted the "lingo" of an iPhone user, that said, he really only has 2 words and they apply to everything, "reset & App". Anything on his phone is now an "app," the settings, the keypad, the on/off button... I do my best to help him navigate his iPhone while on the phone with him, but when you only have 2 terms, it makes it difficult.

Dad: "Well, I'm touching the app button now, but it's not doing anything. Maybe I should reset it.

Me: "Which app are you talking about? Give it some time, don't just reset."

Dad: "I reset all the time because sometimes the app doesn't come up."

Me: "How often do you "reset" Dad?

Dad: "At least once a day. That might be why my settings are erased."

Me: "What?"

Dad: "By the way, is there an app that can play my DirecTV on the iPhone and automatically answer email if I don't want to?

Me: "They don't have that Dad. It doesn't exist."

Dad: "Well, someone should make that app, I would use it all the time."

Me: "Let's just focus on how to check email,OK?"

Dad: "I just reset it again, so we'll have to wait a minute for everything to come back up."

This is one of the few cases in which I feel technically superior to someone. It probably won't last long, my Dad is an accomplished PS3 player, so I'm guessing my smug superiority will only last another month or so.

Fortunately, I've married a person that takes care of all my firewall and computer needs, otherwise, I would pretty much be in the dark writing letters, darning socks and reading newspapers by candlelight.

Ultimately, I'm amazed and humbled by technology and though I doubt it is amazed and humbled by me...I think we have a mutual respect thing going on.

I may be crappy at algorithms and making small talk on FaceBook, but I know a good thing when I see it. Technology is becoming more accessible to people...including my Dad, and someone has to be able to tap into this market, to help it prosper, to gain market share... to make lots and lots of commission!

Which is why I am (dramatic pause) the new face of technology!!!!

Now I just need a job.


*Luddite - One who opposes technical or technological change. Neo-luddism does not equate necessarily to outright technophobia and includes the critical examination of the effects technology has on individuals and communities.

Digging up the past...

I'm not the kind of person that would consider myself nostalgic for the "old days."

I don't reminisce about Homecoming games, late night boozefests, or the year I wielded intoxicating, omnipotent power over 5,000 social science students as the Vice-Chair of the Behavioral Science School at CSULB...

Well, maybe I think back on the omnipotent power part - just a little.

Generally, thinking of old college days reminds me why I would never bother going back for a higher degree, most of it was a stress-induced nightmare, with a big side of work. Thank you, no.

High school was a lot more fun, but two things impinged on my general good time:

Number 1) Pre-Algebra, Algebra, Geometry, Geometry, Algebra, Geometry & Geometry - each one of those was a class I had to take and repeat over and over again, like that movie,'Ground Hog Day.' I wasted 4 years of high/summer school, not to mention the extra hours of tutoring from two high school math teachers, 1 student tutor and a computer learning center. Suffice it to say : I HATE MATH

IT IS MY CRYPTONITE!

Number 2) The tortuous breakdown of my family prior to my parents divorce

I'm not one of those people that would EVER want a re-do of my life up to this point - I don't care if you made me a perfect size 6, gave me perfect skin and let me be the Homecoming Queen - I'm not going back to school! You can't make me!

That said, the only thing from my past that I don't mind having pop up again are the people I met along the way.

There were a lot of good people I went to school with - many I've kept in touch with, but many I've lost track of. With the advent of FaceBook, I've actually found several old friends that I am glad to be back in touch with, along with a couple that I would have preferred to leave back in High School. Overall, it's been a good resource that allowed me to catch up with folks. That's how I heard about our High School reunion and pre-reunion party that I went to last week.

Lots of people worry that their old classmates will treat them badly, look more youthful or will completely outshine them when confronted with their accomplishments. Based on my experience, that's really not the case.

Time is the great equalizer. Everyone has grown up (believe it or not)- the bullies and the stuck up people too. And guess what? The cheerleaders and football players look like everyone else now. Many have kids, have been through divorces, are out of work, working for themselves, gained weight, had a little "work" done, are going back to school and are, by and large, productive, decent citizens.

Go figure.

I know there are still some that won't go to their high school reunions or catch up with people on Facebook (Brian), but I would urge you to at least consider reconnecting with people that you truly liked from the past.

All friends hold a piece of you, a snapshot of your life at a certain point in time, so when you disconnect from a friend, esoterically speaking, you lose a piece of yourself. Instead of re-living old memories, why not re-connect with people from your past and make new memories?

(Disclaimer: I'm not responsible if you touch base with an axe murder and are bludgeoned to death as a result of my encouragement)

Granted, some people can change in bad ways over time, as well as in good, but you can always "unfriend" them on FaceBook if absolutely necessary. Isn't modern life grand?!!

So, my advice this week is to Suck It Up and just get back in touch - even if it is a friend you haven't called for 3 years, just pick up the phone. Not only will you re-find your friend, you might also inadvertently find a part of you that has been missing for some time.

Let's Party!!!

My grandparents knew how to party.

I'm not talking jello shots and a bag of chips on the makeshift coffee table kind of partying, I'm talking about place cards, sit down meals, charades, costumes, party favors - the real deal. My grandparents had at least 4 or 5 handwritten party invitations sitting on their kitchen counter at any given time. I was in awe of how popular they were and how many friends they had. They enjoyed a seemingly endless cavalcade of parties, club events and bridge nights that kept them busy most days. They were ENGAGED with their friends and people in general. My husband's parents are very much like that too - attending parties, book clubs, lectures, doing charity work and actively embracing not only their friends, but people they don't even know. Shocking isn't it?!

I mention this because I've noticed in recent years, people by and large, have all but stopped having parties and consciously interacting with others. Obviously, there are still parties for birthdays and occasionally, the housewarming, but the dinner, cocktail and the "just because" parties have seem to have fallen by the wayside. I noticed it started just after 9/11 - because before that I was constantly going to parties and events and had a VERY good time, as I recall.

It's a shame so many social engagements have been suspended, because in some small way, it signals a time in our history where people have become more withdrawn, anti-social and isolated from each other. I think we may still be feeling the effects of 9/11 and all of the negativity that came after it.

Are we Facebooking, Twittering, XBoxing and TV watching our way into social oblivion? Do we feel safer just observing or interacting behind an avatar in cyberspace or is it just easier & lower maintenance to make invisible friends online?

How many kids/people do you know that are so focused on their Gameboy, the Internet or watching their favorite movie for the 10th time, that they don't even notice other humans in the room?

Have you observed the slow down of interesting, thought provoking conversations or the inability of people to make casual conversation? When was the last time someone looked you in the eye and asked you thoughtful questions backed up by genuine interest? How about politeness and paying attention - what happened to those little gems?

Riddle me this: Is there a restaurant or bar in this country where the sound system is NOT turned up to "11" and where multiple sporting events are NOT being televised at the same time, rendering speech useless? I don't think so, Batman.

In my humble opinion, we are experiencing a social & cultural sea change brought on by a perfect storm of technology, the economic tsunami, burn out and a vast, national malaise.

We are making it more and more difficult to interact with others face to face - even if we actually are face to face. A conscious effort to re-engineer how we deal with people may be required.

It might mean inviting friends over for dinner or a potluck and a game of Pictionary regularly, choosing a walk at the beach over an evening of online gaming, starting a book club or discussion group with people you may not know well. There are a lot of ways to enjoy people's company and it doesn't require loads of money or major planning.

Admittedly, times are tough right now, but I think that is all the more reason for people to band together and shore up what's left of our waning happiness, social interaction and civility. In spite of everything, we still depend on friendship and personal relationships, even if we occasionally succumb to the siren call of the Tivo.

I look forward to the day when I am regularly booked for parties and functions - garden parties, pinochle & canasta games (I've never played), formal cocktail soirees, I don't really care what, I just want to be on the guest list.

My husband and I throw quite a few parties and we enjoy doing it - I think we had around 8 different parties this summer. That said, as much as I love the "usual suspects," I would like to meet new people and schmooze at someone else's wonderful party. Most importantly, I want to concentrate on the lost art of connecting with people, making new friends and maybe for a fleeting moment, ponder my burgeoning popularity ;)